Run

Was it enough? She had given everything. The alley was empty, save the one girl slouched against the cold stone wall. Her breathe came in quick pants as she knotted her fingers together. Her brow was knitted tight as the day she was born. Nadia often found her days ending like this. The sore ache creeping up into her stomach clenching it tight beneath her ribs, the breath would catch and her heart would race then she would ask the same question; was it enough? She found her life had become a rapid succession of disappointments and failures. She was bright enough to be considered witty, attractive enough to be considered pretty and healthy enough to appear to be worth the fight, but still she wondered. Her breaths became deeper, the thump of her heart eased its rabbit like rhythm but she still worried with the ring on her left hand. Would he still chase her?


She pushed up and slapped a flat palm against the stone wall. Another cool august evening, another fit of fear, another fight. He wouldn’t find her this time, she was sure of it. She ran farther than before, pushed harder than before. Her mind ran through the argument, tugging at the corner of each cruel word. Liar. Thief. Disappointment. Pulling it apart like an old brown sweater. Unraveling the meaning she intended behind each jab. Her stomach began to churn again, her muscles spasmed; she was on her knees before she could catch herself. Tears should be next she thought, but none came. Her eyes remained dry, too dry. She pushed her fist against them as hard as she could, letting the pressure push against her brain but no tears came. She clenched her teeth, throat tight, chest expanding and her skin became hot to the touch as she pushed herself off the dirty ground.

Why wasn’t he here? Why hadn’t he come? He swore he loved her. Said he would never leave, but he lied like all the others. Words slammed around inside her head, words sweet and dripping with honey. She tore each one apart; they weren’t worth the memory or the involuntary flutter in her gut. Invisible scenes rolled before her eyes, a broken pot, a tender kiss, a laugh, a lie, his smile, warm eyes, and kind face. With each image her body tightened, jaw clenched, nails biting into her palms as the anger pushed and flowed down to her toes. She succeeded. For hours she stood in the alley. Hours, but she was still alone. She closed her eyes and flexed her jaw. It was over. He swore he was different, she proved him wrong. Shaking her shoulders loose she smiled, it made her sick.

Fine, no smiling she thought. She was proud of herself; at least she thought she was. This is what she intended right, for him to leave her alone? To prove they were all the same fickle, selfish, half-hearted lovers. Why would a King be any different, he was after all just a man? In fact she convinced herself that he would be worse. As King he could have any and all he wanted. She was proud of herself. She proved a King a liar.

Then why did her stomach still churn? If this is what she wanted, why did it feel as though her heart was trying to dig its way out through her back? There was no fight left. She was alone again. She looked at her feet, where the sun slanted across the building throwing her into shadow. She counted in her head 1… 2… 3… and pushed one foot forward into the light. Another command and her foot moved again. One step at a time she forced herself into the street, back into the steady stream of people. She let her mind go numb, let the people push, bump and shove her forward, each step pushing her farther from him.

She closed her eyes and moved with the crowd no longer concerned with her direction or her purpose. A numbness sank through her bones, she felt heavy and pushed against the earth. Then a tingle moved through her wrist. She felt the warmth trace her palm and fingers lace through hers. Her heart raced, eyes flipping open like a switch. Her mind stuttered like a cold diesel engine, refusing to catch on a word, an image, a motion. All she could do was stare at the hand laced with hers. She felt her nose flare, her mouth water and her eyesight blurr. Soft fingers found her chin and moved her head for her forcing her to face soft brown eyes. Her mind emptied, her heart stopped. There was no sound, no feeling, no thought and no motion until he tilted his head and smiled. He leaned forward slowly, brushing the hair away from her ear with his nose. His voice was like warm honey “I found you. I told you, I always would, and I always will.” Nadia’s fingers clenched around his hand as she collapsed against his chest, he found her. Again. A single tear, warm and blue slipped from the corner of her eye, burying itself in his shirt. She wasn't alone after all.