Thirty, Flirty and Fabulous

So I’m turning 30 in two months and it makes me FTFO (that’s freak the F*&($ out, for those who don’t know), so much so that I kind of, maybe, developed a bit of an anxiety disorder because of it. I don’t know why, maybe I do but that is a different post. Today’s post is about turning 30 and being Single. Man that’s hard. I don’t have a Significant Other to tell me I still look as great as I did at 25 or whatever husbands say when their wives are FTFOing about getting older. I can’t check that box off. That box that says I should have children by now. Nope that one is still empty too, but whatever. Who cares? I CARE, but again not what this post is about. This post is about how apparently no one takes pictures of single people. What in THE WORLD is that about?! I’m single so that means I can’t have professional photos done? Go ahead, take a break from this post, pull up Google and type in photographer or lifestyle photographer or portrait photographer in your browser. Go ahead. I’ll wait…..

What did you find? I can tell you, a grand list of people who specialize in wedding and family photography. There is also something called lifestyle photography (which I LOOOVE) but in this case usually means FAMILY session in your house. What is the deal with that? Why is everyone so against celebrating single people? I’m over here attempting to manage my anxiety by over the top celebrating my 30^th and I can’t find one photographer in my area that makes me feel like I’m not weird for wanting a photo session on my “big day”. Sure some of them do “senior” portraits but I’m not a senior. I’m not looking to recapture my high school days (raise both hands if you too are excited about not being a teenager anymore). They do “head shots” but that isn't going to cut it either, I’m not a budding starlet. Boudoir? And do what with it? Make guest in my home uncomfortable? I want a session with my family and friends. A session that can celebrate ME! The person I am at 30 and the people that I love at 30. I can’t be the only one interested in this?!

Now, I LOVE photography, I’m over the moon about it so much so that even though my sister is a marvelous painter and I love traditional paint & canvas art I have very little of it in my house. I want every space in my home covered with photos. Apparently this is odd because I’m single. When I bought my first home I had the following conversation with my BF:

BF: What are you going to put on that big wall over there? (I LITERALLY have a wall that is SIXTEEN FEET LONG in my living room. No windows, just one long piece of sheet-rock.)

Me: Oh, (very excited) I’m going to do a giant picture wall!

BF: Oh, (confused look) whose picture are you going to hang on it.

Me: Mine.

BF: Umm, won’t that be weird?

Me: Well, whose picture do you have hanging in your house?

BF: oh, well yea, that’s a good point.

     Dang right it’s a good point. I’m not weird because I don’t have a diamond on my left hand (it is your left hand right? I can never remember) or children running under foot. I’m allowed to celebrate my life through the fine art of photography. There are pictures me and my sister, me and my friends, and my mom and dad. Most of them have me in them. Some of them don’t. Some of them have just me. Up close. Personal. Wonderful. To misquote scripture, and it was good. Still is. I really need the modern world to catch up with this new target market. Singles from their mid-twenties on are no longer the  marmish, cat ladies from my beloved black and white films. I’m kind of normal. People are waiting longer and getting older before settling down and tying the knot. Good for you. Wait it out, be single, be in a relationship and be single again. You aren't strange for doing this. You also aren't strange for wanting a photo session to celebrate a milestone in your life (she whispers on repeat to herself). I’m not really sure how I am going to start this revolution. Maybe I’ll create a hashtag, #celebratesingleness. (For some reason that one sounds depressing.) What I do know is that we need to start doing it more. All of us single people AND all you non-single people. Start appreciating your single friends more. Stop expecting them to show up or help plan all your engagement parties, wedding showers, weddings, baby showers, anniversaries and birthday parties with gifts galore without EVER returning the favor. Plan a birthday party FOR them, send them flowers (because it’s their birthday or just because), call at the end of the week and see if they need to blow off some steam. We don’t have someone built in to do those things for us. We often have to find it when we need it or go without because we just feel a little to raw too make that phone call for ourselves.

Before anyone freaks out I’m not asking my friends to take the place of a significant other. Don’t try that. It would probably be weird if you did. I am saying, share the love. Acknowledge that being single is HARD and do something nice for your single friends just to remind them that they aren't doing this life alone. It’s really easy to feel that way when you lay down at night alone in bed, even if you do have a wonderful family and great friends just a phone call away. And single-people, celebrate yourself DAGGUMIT! Throw over the top celebrations for that promotion, TELL your friends to take you out for that occasion big or small. Make your friends dress up to take professional pictures with you. They are the family you CHOOSE to have in your life. In the wise words of the Rolling stones, you can't always get what you want. But if you try, sometimes you can get what you need. We can’t get what we need if we don’t ask for it, and that goes for everybody.

*Pictures done by Emily Lapish Photography. My wonderful photographer who moved evern FARTHER away from me. Sending me on this maddening search for someone closer. But Seriously guys. Use her. 

Cinderella's Castle

Above my bed hangs a picture of a beautiful castle all set aglow. The castle itself is white with blue towers spiraling towards a perfectly midnight blue, star filled sky complete with a glowing full white moon. The castle even has it’s own moat complete with crocodiles to guard against unwanted intruders when the gate is drawn. The castle is a dream and is in many ways the focal point of the picture. It takes up over half of the scene and is clearly the object of desire, but what intrigues me, what really gets me excited is the small round coach off to the side. It is pulled by four glorious white horses racing towards the castle entrance. It is of course Cinderella. Though you can’t see the girl herself your heart knows she is there and she is why I love this picture. It makes me want to swoon. It makes me want to dream. If Cinderella were a true story I imagine her night at the ball would have looked much like this photo. Everything is perfectly set, a night clear and beautiful, a castle towering and somehow graceful, and a prince waiting for a chance at love but woefully disappointed again and again and again. I still want to be the girl in that coach. I still want to be Cinderella whisked away to the ball.

The picture hanging above my bed is simply the beginning of the tale. A long story is soon to follow full of glass slippers, dashed dreams, heart breaks, a long search and of course the happily ever after. Cinderella’s story isn’t unique. She isn’t the first blushing beauty searching for true love. She isn’t the first to be disappointed and she isn’t the first to be rescued by prince charming. I think most girls do themselves a disservice when they tell their story. They imagine themselves as no Cinderella. They imagine that their lives are much more mundane but I don’t think this is true. A romance is always a magical thing if only for one reason, it reminds me of the King that searches for my heart. He will search the ends of the earth with the glass slipper looking for me. He will forge into the darkest wood to deliver the kiss that saves me from death. He loves my heart, he desires my soul and I think the whole of the world feels the pull of his love. I believe our love stories weave and overlap not because we are mundane creatures unable to find new material but because our hearts long to tell their own tale. I believe our souls long to tell the whole world that a great romance is taking place every day. There is a prince that longs to know you, a King who hopes for your love and will reach to the ends of the earth to gain it. Romance is no simple thing. It’s a beautiful, hope filled thing that springs new every morning, full of grace and promise. Books remind us of this romance and they make my heart race in desperate anticipation for the day I won’t have to wait anymore. Until that day I will keep reading and I hope you will do the same!