Sprinting for the finish line...

Just to catch you up fast, no this is not about being a runner. So what do I mean? Let me tell you. I am a sprinter and this is a problem. No, not a sprinter in the literally sense but in a metaphorical one. The Christian faith is laid out to be a marathon. The comparison to a race is consistent through scripture. We are admonished to “lay aside every weight and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us” (Hebrews 12:1). We are told to run in such a way as to obtain the prize (1 Corinthians 9:24). It is not the analogy most often referred to but it is common for most and I have found a problem in my own life with running this race. I am not a marathon runner. When you read the verses, that I encourage you to look up on your own, don’t you get the feeling that these verses are talking about a long journey? Finding the word endurance implies anything but a short sprint to the finish line and I am a sprinter. Maybe you are too. Still confused? Let me expand.

I have found a pattern in my own Christian walk. There are these burst of energy, passion, desire where I run whole heartedly towards the goal. I chase fervently and recklessly towards the prize. I trip, I fall, I crawl, I walk. The intensity changes but I am constantly moving forward. I am looking at my beloved creator and singing his name as I chase his heart. Then suddenly, almost violently, I stop. I can hear a few of you breath a sigh of relief as clarity settles in and your mind whispers, “Oh, well, that is normal.” It may be normal but I take issue with it. I don’t mean I am crawling forward on bruised knees. It’s like my mind, heart, soul, call it whatever you will goes, “Okay, that’s enough for now. I think I am going to sit on this rock for a while. I’ll catch you later God.” What?! Excuse me?! This is not the reaction you have to an Almighty God. This is not how you react to a lover. This is not a marathon runner. Sprinters stop running. Marathoners keep going long after the sprinter has given out. I am a sprinter, and I take serious issue with myself.

Guess where I am today. I am sitting on that rock. I don’t know why. I couldn’t explain it if I tried, if my life (or soul) depended on it. I can hear my Saviour calling. I can feel him poking. I know he is wooing but still I sit. I can’t help but laugh at myself and I can’t help but cry for myself either. I know who I am. I know who calls me loved. I know who’s arms I belong in. I know who orchestrates my life. There is no confusion for me who my King is, though how accurately I know Him can be examined later. There is no time for that tonight. Tonight I wrestle with how to become a marathon runner. How to pursue Him everyday without stopping. What does it say about me if I do not chase after Him? What does it say I believe? I have an inkling these questions fall under the trust category and the ever present be still and wait for Him category.

In all my searching of races, running, and persevering I found this verse and perhaps it holds the answers to my questions. Isaiah 40: 30-31 “Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” Wait on the Lord. Wait on the Lord. Wait on the Lord. It reminds me of Exodus 14:14 a verse dear to my heart as of late. It says “The Lord will fight for you, you need only be still.” So I tell myself, be still, he will come for you. He will fight for you. He is after all the lover of your soul, and lovers rescue. Lovers fight for the beloved. I don’t have an answer to my question. No solution to my problem has been found. However, of this I am certain. I am sure that my King will not abandon me. I know He won’t throw up His hands and walk away. I know He is certain of my love for Him and His love for me even when I don’t get it, even when I can’t see it. So for tonight I will sit on this rock and I will wait for my Lover to return and when He does my heart will again be filled. My legs will again find strength and again I will try to be a marathon runner. Who knows maybe I will get the hang of it this time.